This is just a huge, huge mess in terms of story, character dynamics, introduction of the DC universe elements. Some of the CGI is downright atrocious considering how much money was spent on all this, and I'm not just talking about Henry Cavill's removed moustache. The villain is terrible both in concept and execution. There's some good things about it, as I said it's easy enough to get through and there's potential to be had in most of its heroes, but it could've been so much better.
9. The Hitman's Bodyguard
I didn't hate this, in fact I quite enjoyed some parts, but it is not a good film. Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson are fun to watch together and elicit some laughs, but everything else ranges from painfully mediocre to downright bad. The action sequences are some of the more pedestrian put to Hollywood film in recent years, none of the story beats make all that much sense, it shifts awkwardly between goofy comedy and unnecessarily dark depths, the likes of Gary Oldman and Salma Hayek are wasted and I'm not sure what Elodie Yung was trying to do here. I would have honestly much preferred to just watch an hour long interview with both Jackson and Reynolds in any costume of their choice. 8. Split
There's two good things about this film, one which can be found above. James McAvoy who really gives it his all with a pretty intriguing portrayal of multiple personalities, and the fact it helps set up a sequel to my favourite M. Night Shaymalan film. Otherwise though, I found the film to be a complete waste of time. Like Mother! it feels exploitative without any real reason to be other than to titillate. It never gets under your skin given the potential it has to do so, and again Shaymalan proves dialogue and realistic plot turns to not be his strong suit.
7. Mother!
I generally don't mind Aronofsky, Black Swan and The Wrestler are both effective acting showcases and Requiem for a Dream is a pretty solid film. But I really disliked mother!, Mother!, whichever way you want to call it. It's not without merit, Aronofsky always has an eye for distinctive set design, the Biblical allegories at the outset are kind of interesting, and Jennifer Lawrence is good in the leading role as usual. But the further it goes with its allegories without any nuance, the more ridiculous it got for me, and not in an entertaining way. The stilted, on-the-nose dialogue really grates on the ears and every attempt at horror or thrills just left me very cold. The third act, which had some potential, is upended by just how exploitative it feels without any substance, feeling like a complete and utter mess. I can see why some love this film, but I really, really didn't. 6. Ghost in the Shell
Funnily enough the things which were causing the most fuss prior to the film's release bothered me the least about this. And yes, the way they try getting around casting Scarlett Johansson as the Major results in a third act revelation that would've probably offended me if I hadn't been so numbed and desensitized by how utterly boring everything else was. The thing is, the action, the scenery, the visuals all look kind of nice, but in a very standard, generic video game way. It's a very hollow exercise in derivative filmmaking, mixed with a mixed bag of performances, and a dreadful final act. 5. The Discovery
Another one which was just boring. The idea of scientists investigating the afterlife and the ethical repercussions of it seems like it could lead somewhere interesting, but it never does. It's an aimless, and very blandly directed film, not helped by the complete lack of chemistry between its two leads. It seems to be trying for something very cold and clinical in its execution of the subject matter, but ends up testing your patience to the point of complete boredom and disassociation with anything going on onscreen. 4. Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
I really wanted to like this but I couldn't. It's bad, it really is - like Jupiter Ascending, but without the campy laughs or Eddie Redmanye screaming his head off (in the hammy Brits department this is terribly scarce, with Clive Owen slumming his way through). There's a few nice visual touches but it mostly feels like a glossier, more expensive but altogether less invigorating The Fifth Element. It has a particularly obnoxious lead in Dane DeHaan (Cara Delavigne is actually okay in comparison), a conspiracy plot that goes round in circles and needless detours, and wastes what could've been a pretty cracking, carefree sci-fi yarn for something dumb that takes itself way too seriously. 3. The Snowman
Genuinely disappointed by this film, since it was on my top 30 'most anticipated' list for the year. It ended up being such a complete mess of tones, storylines, performances - Michael Fassbender gives a pretty bad performance - and Tomas Alfredson, so brilliant in his direction of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, can't keep a coherent storyline together, let alone do anything significant with the mystery genre. It just feels painfully inadequate throughout, the murder investigation never quite makes sense, and though some of the scenery and cinematography is nice, it was a truly painful experience to get through. 2. The Circle
I'm really tempted to put this at the 'top' of my list. James Ponsoldt's last film was The End of the Tour, one of my favourite films of the decade so far - an intelligent and deeply moving depiction of two complex individuals shooting the breeze. This is not an intelligent, moving, or even tonally coherent film whatsoever. In fact it's perhaps the most tone-deaf film of the year. It seems to watn to be a technological satire, but never ends up being particularly techno-savvy, or satirical. It seems oh so straightforward and bland about everything, that it feels like simple watching a normal everyday workplace, except people talk in the most stilted and unnatural manner, and as the film gets more 'ridiculous' in its concepts it clashes horribly with the dull and dreary tone. The performances are uniformly underwhelming (John Boyega, Karen Gillan, and Tom Hanks are wasted), or downright awful (Emma Watson is terrible, Ellar Coltrane is even worse). All in all a pretty miserable experience, thankfully (or not so thankfully) I only had to resort to Netflix for it. 1. Transformers: The Last Knight
Yeah, to be honest the main reason I put this at the top is that, while there's some 'so bad it's kind of amusing' touches to The Circle, The Last Knight represents the nadir to Michael Bay's career (of which the peak was of course, The Rock). I actually pulled my phone out in the middle of watching this in the cinema, a cardinal sin in almost any regard though it was a very empty cinema, with only a friend next to me. Mark Kermode described it as not the worst Transformers film, but rather the most dull one - I'd have to concur apart from the 'not the worst' part because this was just an exercise in failure, in pretty much every regard. I don't consider myself an expert on aspect ratios, but it was distracting to the point of a headache here with how often they switched it around. The script is a hot swirling hogwash turd mix of Arthurian legend, offensive stereotypes, a villainous plan that's too complex for even its instigator to fully comprehend, and Anthony Hopkins being oh so very British and uncouth. Speaking of which he gives the only vaguely passable performance in the film, once again many decent actors are wasted entirely, and Mark Wahlberg gives a lead performance devoid of any charm, conviction, or even unintentional comic moments. The worst thing about it, though, might be the action. Each action sequence is an indistinguishable mess, you never know what to focus on and you really don't want to, and the only feeling I got out of watching the robots pummel one another was that of utter defeat: any potential the Transformers films ever had is gone, gone.
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