Head-to-Head: Santa Claus on Film

Billy Bob Thornton played Willie Stoke in Bad Santa

Thought I'd start off with the Santa of every parent's nightmares. Bad Santa is one of my favourite 'crass comedies' of recent times. It's unrepentant, unreserved approach to the uncouth material, inspired by the Coen Brothers no less, makes it a tremendously entertaining film all-round. It does admittedly peak at the beginning with the titular bad Santa at his very worst swearing at kids, engaging in hanky panky in the dressing room stalls, and insulting every friend or foe (mostly foe) that crosses his path, and some of the latter bits where things start to get serious are a bit tonally imbalanced. Nevertheless, it contains one of the funniest and least try-hard scripts in recent memories and has a certain heart to all its vulgarity, which I'll get onto in a bit. Also, any film with added Bernie Mac as a sideshow of added hilarity is a very good one.

Billy Bob Thornton is not exactly the first name that comes to mind when you think Santa, and that's the genius behind the casting choice. Thornton plays very much into his body of work as an actor before this film as a generally Southern hillbilly sort, or at the very least an extremely deadpan sort of fella, and makes Willie Stoke a man in his element cussing, heavy drinking, shagging, and crime, being not averse at all to it on the job. His Santa is a Santa of the most depraved and haggard variety and thus utterly hilarious. Every scene where we watch his Willie Stoke try his best to conduct himself as a 'respectable' Santa in public and utterly failing is a joy to behold, whether it's through his incredulous responses to kid's requests for gifts, or arguing with his boss (John Ritter) about what is and isn't acceptable for Santa to be doing on the job, as he almost acts as an evil cousin to Edmund Gwenn's Kris Kringle in Miracle on 34th Street as a menace to the cheery air of the department store he works in.

The more personal elements to Willie are seen in his interactions with other characters. With his partner in crime, the dwarf Marcus (Tony Cox) there's a breezy rapport undercut by a certain animoysity as despite being fellow criminals, neither is entirely trusting of the other; and with Lauren Graham's Sue, there's a buregeoning relationship that's twisted and darkly funny in its own way (wait till you see what she thinks of Santa as a kink), but also rather sweet. Most importantly there's his relationship with the overweight, guillble but rather sweet and strangely named Thurman Merman (Brett Kelly). Thurman believes that Willie really is Santa, despite Willie's best attempts to prove to him otherwise with his antisocial behaviour, and thus goes under his wing to the man's horror. Thorton's performance is brilliant in how he manages to make Willie slowly warm up to the boy without ever losing that venomous edge to the character. He even makes the somewhat inadequate and sudden scenes towards the end where Willie begins moralizing rather powerful in a way through his character's subtle transition. It's a brilliant comedic performance and Thornton and the writing make it into essential Christmas viewing for the atypical, perhaps somewhat miserly, viewer.

Edmund Gwenn played 'Kris Kringle' in Miracle on 34th Street (1947)

Miracle on 34th Street is a terrific Christmas film, up there with my absolute favourites, and contains within it one of, if not the, most iconic, definitive cinematic Clauses to the silver screen in Edmund Gwenn's 'Kris Kringle', a role he won the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for but which is really a lead role. The film is centred around Kringle, offering his services to replace the inadequate, inebriated Santa at a Macy's Day Parade, and subsequently doing such a good job that he's offered a job as the department store Santa on 34th street. Complications arise when Kringle's repeatedly insists that he is Santa Clause. Various courtroom proceedings and hijinks to prove this very fact result in hilarity, an a surprisingly emotional core to how Kris impacts the affably goofy lawyer who defends him (John Payne), his cynical boss (Maureen O'Hara), and her loveable daughter (Natalie Wood).

Kringle is in many ways an uncomplicated character, and also despite the characters within the film making a big deal over whether or not he's Santa, it's pretty clear from the outset that Kris is most certainly Santa. There's such an innate kindness and sweet sincerity to Gwenn's performance from the outset that makes no other outcome possible. He really just is Santa, no question about it, and part of the fun is watching how he inserts this curious, kooky figure into the hustle and bustle of Manhattan. So much of the film's humorous touch relies upon Gwenn's excellent timing in his character's pleasantness and genuine righteousness played against less savoury characters like the nasty psychiatrist played by Porter Hall, his gentle guidance of an overweight and impressionable young employee at 34th street, his easygoing and often hilarious rapport with Payne, and best of all his kindness towards the children. With Natalie Wood, his Kris Kringle makes such an affecting grandfather figure but also a magical Santa figure, and helps to create unforgettable scenes like his Dutch-speaking, Dutch-singing scene with an adopted girl which are truly one-of-a-kind. As the film progresses we watch as the world attempts to tear Kris Kringle down, but Gwenn's consistent portrayal of Kris' kindness makes it convincing how others continue to root for him, and even his opposition gradually find themselves won over by this adorable old man.

Richard Attenborough played 'Kris Kringle' in Miracle on 34th Street (1994)

Attenborough's performance as Kris Kringle is probably the best thing about this remake, which as far as remakes go isn't terrible. I actually quite love the slight subversion of the 'Dutch-speaking' scene in the remake with the deaf girl as it is genuinely quite moving too, unfortunately most of the cast members just aren't up to scratch, and the direction and script feel merely like pale, derivative imitations of the original, of a lesser variety. Attenborough is very endearing in the role and plays Kris better than anyone could've possibly done in his position, but one aspect the film limits him is in the humorous side of things. The bland direction means tha a lot of the laughs are compromised, and while Atttenborough and Gwenn are just about equally sweet, I'd say Gwenn mines a lot more laughs while Attenborough is forced to be a bit more straightforward by the film. Shame about that since we know how absolutely hilarious Attenborough can be when he wants to be (Doctor Dolittle, Jurassic Park, bits of The Great Escape, and 10 Rillington Place of course, that barrel of laughs).

Douglas Seale played Santa Claus in Ernest Saves Christmas

The Ernest films with Jim Varney (probably best known nowadays as the voice of Slinky in the first two Toy Story films) are actually quite a bit of fun, if not exactly very well-made films, and this one is no exception. The dumb but endearing redneck Ernest and his exploits are humorous in a lighthearted way as usual, but Seale as Santa is the highlight of the film, oh so utterly convincing even amidst all the absurdity, and makes his Santa a rather low-key and humorous presence within the film to counterbalance its more extreme elements.

Tim Allen played Santa Claus in The Santa Clause

Another Toy Story alumni, Mr Allen, played Santa too in a fun, if slight, little twist on the Santa mythos. Subsequent sequels are by all accounts awful, but this first venture by Allen into the Santa suit is quite a bit of fun. Allen plays Scott Calvin, your classic family film 'divorced', 'overworked executive' father who one night, accidentally pushes a supposed 'intruder', Santa, off his roof and is forced to gradually accept that he is the replacement Santa, with the help of his son Charlie (Eric Lloyd), and head elf Bernard (David Krumholtz). I do like the film's very simple approach, which is basically to throw all sorts of difficulties and pratfalls at Allen as he gradually transforms into Santa, and though it's nothing remarkable overall, it works for the film and his gradual transition into Santa Claus is rather enjoyable, overall.

Ed Asner played Santa Claus in Elf

Santa plays a relatively small role here - the largest role goes to his oversized elf played by Will Ferrell - but Santa is just another facet of this rather lovely, and deservedly well-praised family Christmas comedy, the voice of the lovely fella in Up here used to give Santa that kindly and fatherly edge that helps encourage Ferrell's Buddy along his way.

Tom Hanks 'played' Santa Claus in The Polar Express

Also a small role, and unfortuantely, like most of the mo-cap performances in this Robert Zemeckis misfire, Santa comes across as a bit creepy due to the technology used, and Hanks doesn't really disappear into the role vocally either, making this Santa a rather underwhelming one, fitting to a rather underwhelming film. I will say though that I can see Hanks playing Santa Claus in a more inspired, creatively fruitful incarnation of the character.

Boris Karloff narrated/voiced the Grinch in How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

Perhaps the definitive translation of Dr Seuss onto the screen, this adaptation of his most famous children's story flawlessly captures the whimsical, youthful but also rather knowing air of the story of the mean Grinch who stole and eventually finds the spirit of, Christmas. Karloff's narration is essential to this televised version of the story working as the words and rhyme spring off his tongue beautifully, and he manages to bring a bit of humour and even emotion to his deadpan delivery that makes his clipped, concise wordings of the story so fun to listen to.

Jim Carrey played the Grinch in Dr Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Now this is an interesting one to examine. This won't be the last Jim Carrey performance I'll be examining this Christmas season, but it's no spoiler to say that this is, in my opinion, the far better of the two. Carrey's Grinch is in an exceedingly problematic film which, for the sake of padding the running time, adds in all manner of unnecessary and somewhat distasteful inclusions to the plot, including a very ill-conceived romantic subplot. Nevertheless, Carrey as is usual for him, gives it all to the film, working under layers of what must've been unbearable makeup and saccharine direction by Ron Howard, and manages to give the Grinch a unique voice and memorable physical qualities that are not just quirk for quirk's sake, but help to create a fairly interesting Grinch. Now beyond that the film has difficulty in making the Grinch's Scrooge arc work with how weird and unlikeable they make him from the outset, but Carrey gives it his best shot and ends up making at the very least his relationship with his sweet little dog and sweet little girl Cindy Lou have some sort of resonance.

How would I rank these performances as 'Santa?

1. Billy Bob Thornton, Bad Santa
2. Edmund Gwenn, Miracle on 34th Street (1947)
3. Boris Karloff, How the Grinch Stole Christmas! 
4. Douglas Seale, Ernest Saves Christmas
5. Richard Attenborough, Miracle on 34th Street (1994)
6. Tim Allen, The Santa Clause
7. Jim Carrey, Dr Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas
8. Ed Asner, Elf
9. Tom Hanks, The Polar Express

How would I rank these Christmas films?

1. Miracle on 34th Street (1947) (5/5)
2. How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (4.5/5)
3. Bad Santa (4.5/5)
4. Elf (4/5)
5. The Santa Clause (3/5)
6. Ernest Saves Christmas (3/5)
7. Miracle on 34th Street (1994) (2.5/5)
8. Dr Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas
9. The Polar Express (2.5/5)

Bonus - 

Darren McGavin played Mr Parker/The Old Man in A Christmas Story

Now this is a film I haven't seen in ages, and perhaps it's apt time to revisit it. Anyway, Darren McGavin doesn't actually play Santa here, but rather the titular Ralphie's (Peter Billingsley) dad/Old Man. Even without having seen it in a long, long time I still remember McGavin being a hilarious but ultimately rather sweet presence as the boisterous and kindhearted dad who soars with delight at his 'leg lamp' Christmas gift and who ultimately gives Ralphie his heart's desire.